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Pomeroy got the call while he was watching a movie called Rasmussen.

“Pom?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Hertz.” [Hairtz]
“Hey Hertz.”
“Sorry to bother you right now…”
“Eh, what can you do?”
“Exactly. You’re our guy, and we’ve got a thing.”

He wasn’t necessarily their guy, but he couldn’t do anything about it.

“So, P?”
“Yeah.”
“Here’s what’s up: You know this guy Judah? He’s the kid who started the butler walk out?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s really in our sights, you know? He’d really be a great catch for us.”

Pomeroy unmuted the movie and turned down the volume.

“Well, Pom, Judah would be a pretty big deal.”
“… So what’s the problem?”
“Well… right now, Pom, it seems he’s up in a tree and he won’t come down. And we need you to go over there and recruit him.”
“From the tree?”
“Yeah. Pom? You really gotta do whatever it takes on this one. Get that guy on our team, okay? You got this?”
“I guess I do.”
“I can trust you?”
“Yeah Hertz. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

-

When Pomeroy arrived on the scene, he took his coffee out of the bag and tossed his refuse on the curb. He made that coffee face, too.
He walked towards the tree, and somebody handed him a dossier. He thought about Hertz, he rubbed his eight days of stubble, and he took his first step up to the tree.

“Jonah.”

“Jonah, are you there, Jonah?”
“I’m in a tree.”
“Sure you are. Listen, Jonah, this is Tim Pomeroy, I emailed you two weeks ago.”
“Pomeroy? You the guy who emailed me about investing in the future, and shit?”
“Right, ‘there’s no brighter star than the one not yet ignited’, that was me, man.”
“God, that email was like The Greatest Love of AllI!”
“I know Jonah, you’re right, it was.”
“Shit man, I deleted it right away.”
“I understand.”
“Like, I didn’t read it or anything.”
“Yeah, I get it. Listen Jonah…”
“Judah.”
“Judah, listen to me, you’re a really bright guy. I’m wondering how you got yourself into this situation.”
“What?”
“Jonah, buddy, why are you in the tree, man?”
“Judah!”
“Judah, sorry.”
“I’m in the tree.”
“Yes, tell me why you’re in the tree.”
“I don’t think I want to come down.”
“Well listen, man…”
“I’m up here! In the tree!”
“Listen!...”

Pomeroy stands up straight at this point and throws the cup over his shoulder.

“I know, man, I know you’re in that tree. Now listen! For the love of… Listen! To me, J-man! I’m rapping to you right now about something big!”

Pomeroy begins to look at his nails, Judah begins to meow.

“I’m telling you about what it’s like out in that, that world, down outside of the… trees… of your young, and, eager mind, man! Jonah!”
“Judah!”
“I know! Just listen, I’m telling you, eh, that there’s a world that you don’t even know, out here! I’m telling to you that there are places for you to see! People for you to meet! And they don’t even know that they get to meet you, yet, okay? Can you catch what I’m getting at?”
“Oh Jesus.”
“Judah! I’m saying that there are folks who need you to realize what you’re about, J-guy! I’m singing to you, Romeo-style, from down here, to you, up there, that if you go on and stay up there in that tree, that you are robbing, that’s right, you are robbing some one of her… potential… by not displaying your generous and deity-given leadership skillz!”
“Who…”
“JUDAH! Who is stuck in the tree? You? Or the person you don’t help, uh?”
“This is fucking ridiculous.”

Judah jumped down out of the tree and landed comfortably on his own two feet. He walked away without Pomeroy, who was examining his shoes, noticing.

“Hey listen man: I’m gonna pass up this contract to you, okay. It’s a two-year commitment, and while it won’t be easy, you’re putting a down payment on the expansion of the world’s burgeoning goodness. Can I get your name on this today, J-man?”
“ – “
“Listen, of course you’ll get well compensated for your work, of course... Which will be hard. Look at me, here right now, right? I could be watching a movie, but I’m here with you to say, listen, Judah, but, I mean, don’t you want to help show the world what’s inside of… the world?”
“ – “
“Alright, alright. I understand. You need some time to think it over. I’ll let you talk to your family and the significant figures in your life. I’m just gonna leave the papers here, with a pen – my number and email addy are on the pen, J-man – and you get back to me whenever you want. To show you my commitment, I’m gonna leave you this ring, this is my special family ring of commitment, right here on the ground. I want you to have it, to wear it, and you’ll know how much we want to hook up with your work and how much your work is a part of this world, the world. I’m fully confident that you’ll wear it, and you’ll wear it well. And listen, Jonah: may your first child be a masculine child, okay?”

-

Pomeroy walks away and calls up Hertz.

“Hey Hertz.”
“Yo, Pom. How’d it go?”
“Pretty good.”
“He’s out of the tree?”
“Not sure. But I left a ring on the ground, so I think he’ll take the hard sell.”
“They always do, brother, they always do.”

Both laugh…

 

by Dave Ruder

copyright 2006-8